Journey to Balanced Eating

Growing up, I ate relatively healthy and always had meals together with my family. My parents are from Poland and always were making home made food. We had (and still have) a big garden in the summer that brought in such a delicious harvest. I packed my lunch for school every day (never once buying lunch!) and it was always a sandwich + and apple. I ate when I was hungry and never questioned calories, fat grams, etc etc until I got to college.

College

The summer going into sophomore year I read a book by Kevin Trudeau called Natural Cures They Don’t Want You to Know About. This book opened my eyes to the world we live in and made me switch to organic + natural foods entirely. It made me realize that you need to take everything with a grain of salt and steer away from packaged foods, fads, etc. This made me more conscious of my choices, but I still wasn’t worried about fat grams, macros, etc. I was active and had a healthy body type, and I was happy!

As time went on I continued to buy more books to self educate and did a ton of reading online. I bought Clean Eating books (by Tosca Reno) and Natural Cooking recipe books that focused on whole foods, nothing processed. Cooking and baking were (and still are) a passion of mine, and I loved creating new recipes.

When I was a Junior + Senior in college, a few of my close friends (and family members) were struggling with eating disorders. At the time, I never full grasped why or how they could do that to themselves. I understood it was about control, and for some it was issues with body image and fear of gaining weight, and dealing with their emotions and hardships this way. But I just couldn’t understand how they could put their bodies through that.

Stress + The Beginning of my Struggles

Nursing school was one of the most stressful experiences I went through in college. Long story short, this lead to binge eating that went in hand with stressful situations. I was also going through a rough time with my boyfriend at the time, being 5 hours apart, seeing other people, heartbreaks, etc etc. This is when I found food to “ease the pain” for that moment, only to feel terrible after and restrict the next day + staying very active. I really got into running and wasn’t properly fueling myself at times. The binging got very bad at times, and I was putting my body through hell by this awful cycle.

My body was crying out for balanced eating but I was SO hard on myself, worried that I was eating too many carbs or too much fat, restrict, eat a ton one night,  wake up and run 8 miles, finally refuel after my run with a bowl of cereal, then a salad, and a small dinner. Vicious cycle that left me burnt out and my weight constantly fluctuated.

After graduating I started working as a night nurse which completely threw my body off. My eating was so off and I was experimenting with a vegetarian/vegan diet. In college I didn’t eat much meat either, but now I wasn’t eating it anymore. As time went on, I was constantly craving fats. I would eat soo much almond butter and handfuls of nuts at a time, and I always felt hungry. Always. And, I was always thinking about food.  My body was definitely trying to tell me something. Over time I gained a bit of weight, despite remaining active, which left me depressed + very anxious. I went for acupuncture to help with anxiety and urges to binge eat, and that day changed my life. I left my night job (and now work days as a pediatric home health nurse- LOVE it) and I’m pursuing a masters degree in Acupuncture + Alternative Medicine.

After trying to see which lifestyle of eating works for me, I finally started to eat meat again. This changed my appetite (I wasn’t constantly hungry), the way I feel, and my cravings. When I stopped eating meat, I was eating enough protein still, but my belly was NOT happy with eating beans, tofu, and more grains all the time (and still eating a ton of veggies too.) I remember getting excruciating pains after eating beans and feeling so bloated after certain meals. I also was feeling and looking “puffy” eating a diet more heavy on grains and carb-based proteins instead of lean protein from animal sources.

**NOTE: This is how I felt eating this way. It took me  a LONG time to realize that what works for someone is NOT the best thats for me. I use to compare myself to others and mimic their eating styles because I too learned about the benefits of a meat-free diet. Also note that when I say “diet” I mean this as a lifestyle of eating, NOT a quick fix for weight loss as the term is usually used**

With all the researching I’ve done, I realize that the quality of our food is not the same as it use to be, especially when discussing meat. Yes, it is more expensive, but 110% worth it to buy organic, GRASS FED meat. There is so much to learn about healthy fats and grass fed meat, and how our omega ratios are completely out of wack due to meat that is grain fed.

I have finally found my happy place of eating. I love to stay active, and my body truly thrives on a diet high in healthy fats, protein, and carbs from fruits and vegetables. I still eat grains on occasion, and they mainly are from brown rice, oatmeal, quinoa, millet or buckwheat, but I do not eat them at every meal, or even daily. The reason is because I don’t need them and opt for vegetables and fruit to get my fiber, vitamins and minerals. Don’t get me wrong though, I still enjoy a delicious bowl of oats very often
Its all about balance in the end and finding out what you feel best doing.

I try to take everything with a grain of salt and don’t stress when or if I do eat something out of my ordinary lifestyle. I completely support vegetarian and vegan lifestyles and love cooking meatless recipes. But, after experimenting with different diets, I am finally at a happy place and no longer stress that I “shouldn’t be eating meat!” because I’ve learned that my body really feels best (and I mean both mentally and physically) eating it.

Its all about making smart choices and treating your body the best you can, AND enjoying life at the same time. Everyone needs to indulge once in a while, its good for the mind and spirit. In the end, its about loving yourself and living a happy and fulfilling life. I had an emptiness that I tried filling for so long with food, but I finally learned that its obviously not doing me any good and that I’m causing even more damage. Fill your soul with family, friends, and loved ones, treat yourself well so that you can be a better mother/father/sister/brother/aunt/uncle etc, and always realize that life is a continuous learning process.
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